What's in a Name?

What a mess. For a week, the roads looked like ice rinks. The sports schedule was shuffled more than a Black Jack deck at the local casino. Kids will be making up snow/ice days until July at this rate. Ah... the joys of Global Cooling.

Do you remember when a janitor was a janitor? Or a garbage man was simply a garbage man? How about back in the day when airlines employed stewardesses.

In today's society we have gone full-fledged PC, political correctness. Either PC or plain silly. Actually we have taken the sting out of the titles. We have made the titles catchy and less demeaning.

Today, a janitor can be referred to by a multitude of titles including custodial technician, sanitation supervisor or environmental services associate to name a few.

Meanwhile, the job description remains the same--cleaning toilets, urinals and sinks. There are other job functions but you understand the gist of things. A garbage man now prefers to be called a sanitation engineer.

Stewardess is the one that gets me. I used to work in the airline business so I know how irritated a 'flight attendant' becomes when called by the old moniker.

The functionality of the steward or stewardess hasn't changed. The main goal is to ensure safe travel -- you know -- buckle you seat, get out of the isle, stop walking around and so forth. I'm getting thirsty just thinking about it.

What does this have to do with sports? I'm glad you asked. It seems coaches have jumped on the bandwagon. Why settle on becoming a position coach when you can be a multi-titled employee. It seems like over-the-top resume filler.

Speaking of which, here is a look at the University of Tulsa's football coaching staff.

The singular titled group includes cornerbacks coach Jason Jones and safeties coach Jess Loepp. On the offensive side of the ball Tulsa's own Bill Blankenship get his induction into the collegiate ranks as the wide receivers coach.

Tight ends coach Dean Jackson and running backs coach Bo Graham round out the old-school position coaches.

Here's were the fun begins. Co-offensive coordinator / quarterbacks coach is Guz Malzahn.

Malzahn defected from Arkansas after a stellar offensive year with the Razorbacks. He was named SEC Offensive Coordinator of the year.

All things in Hog country were far from peachy, however. Players' parents complained to the athletic director about the offensive scheme and playing time. Very mature. Standout receivers left to attend USC and the quarterback, Mitch Mustain, quit the football team. Something smells of hog breath.

Co-offensive coordinator / offensive line coach Herb Hand left nationally ranked West Virginia. He inherits a loaded backfield at TU but question marks on the offensive line.

Co-defensive coordinator / defensive line Paul Randolph defected from Rice along with Coach Graham. Finally, co-defensive coordinator / linebackers coach Danny Phillips rounds out the staff.

Two defensive co-ordinators and two on the offensive side of the ball as well. At the end of the day this is stroking the ego.

Greener Pastures

Enough football for now, how about pugilistics? The Rev. Al Green left a whole lotta soul at the Million Dollar Elm Casino, 951 West 36th St. North, last week. This week, Friday, the casino hosts Allan "Sweetness" Green in another Super Middleweight bout. Green looks to up his record to 24-0.

Boxing is run by arguably the most corrupt individuals in the world of sport. If not for the political landscape, Green would have undoubtedly gotten a well-deserved title fight by now.

Green has the type of dynamic personality America would love. If only America still loved boxing. Respected boxing scribe Dan Rafael of ESPN.com ranks Green number 6 in his weight class.

On the Courts

The Oral Roberts Golden Eagles ran off 4 straight to open Mid-Con play. Perennial standouts Caleb "Rollin'" Green and Ken "King" Tutt are averaging 20 and 16 points respectively.

A deeper than expected bench sees at least eight players earning double digit minutes per contest. Again, the only issue right now is health.

Keep this unit healthy and a Mid-Con conference championship seems set in stone. Of course with the victor come the spoils of the NCAA tourney. We can overlook the opponents; Coach Scott Sutton will not let his players do the same.

Oklahoma's only loss of the season came at the hands of Ohio State, a top 10 team at the time. Not the men, mind you, the woman's team.

If you have read this column over the past couple of years, you'd realize I don't typically cover women's athletics. Ever. However, when you have the combo platter of coach Sherri Coale and All-World player Courtney Paris then I can be swayed.

Women's basketball is what it is. You will not see slam dunks. You will not see lightning fast, ankle-breaking cross-over moves. You will see crisp passing, team-oriented play and awkward push/jump shots.

If you watch OU, you watch Courtney Paris. She ranks third in the nation in scoring at almost 23 points a game. She pulls down more than 15 rebounds per contest which is good enough for second in the nation (Jillian Robbins of Tulsa is third with over 12 per game).

Over three blocks a game ranks her in the top 10 across the country as well. Sixty-two percent clip from the field lands her in the top 10. She is 6-4 and (we never mention a woman's weight) and all but unstoppable on the blocks. Does anybody care? That is the question.

Well I care and it's my two-cents. From here on out I'd like to be called the Minister of Sports Information/King of All Tulsa Sports Media.

My ego feels better already.