0-4 Baby!

Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?

It's an all-too-common interrogatory this time of year, as vacation season hits mid-stride.

But to football fans, the 'are we there yet' phrase signifies the general feeling around town about the upcoming football season. It is also blatantly ripped off from either The Smurfs or The Simpsons. Maybe both.

The intrigue going into this week's British Open at Carnoustie is fascinating. There are so many story lines for us to track. But first, the week in review.

Mean Green

Super middleweight title contender Allan Green headlined another ESPN "Friday Night Fights" card this past weekend. Green overwhelmed the overmatched Darrell Woods. The referee stopped the beatdown just 82 seconds into the first round.

Next up for Green? A mega-fight against Peter Manfredo Jr. A contestant on the ill-fated Contender show, Manfredo Jr. was recently destroyed by undefeated champion Joe Calzaghe.

The tentatively scheduled Oct. 16 bout will go a long way in determining Green's readiness for a step up in competition.

Did you know the Sooners football team failed to register a single win in its 2005 campaign? I will not bore you with the details as I am sure you are fully aware of the wrist-slap OU received.

Here are burning questions still lingering from the decision and OU's subsequent decision to appeal the original decision. Still with me?

So the NCAA disallowed the Sooners' eight wins but left four losses on the record books? And how exactly does this make sense?

The ruling stated OU was being punished for having cheaters on the rosters. Didn't the rule breakers also participate in the losses? Where is the distinction? This is what the university should be appealing.

Instead, the full-of-themselves Sooners are angry they were slapped with the "failure to monitor the employment of the players" distinction. Really? You are going to poke a stick at the sleeping dog on this technicality.

Imagine stealing money from the bank for two years. Nothing huge but nonetheless taking money. After the first year, the bank tells you to stop. You are being watched like a hawk at this point.

Another year passes and you keep taking money from the bank. This time you tell the bank "Hey, just so you know -- we are taking money from you but we are sorry and fired the bookkeeper".

The bank seizes money from your account to pay for the damages. They also charge you one of those overdraft fees and call it even.

You still made out like a bandit in the long run. However, you decide to hire a lawyer and sue for the overdraft fee. Does this make any sense? Wouldn't you be better off hoping the bank didn't audit all of your records?

Out of Italics

Speaking of big money. Scotty Nguyen calls Cherokee Casino home when he's not traveling the world playing poker, baby. He's enjoyed a fantastic run at the 2007 World Series of Poker.

His poker prowess has earned him two final tables this year. By the time you read this, the main event winner will have been crowned. First prize will earn a championship bracelet and more than $8 million. That's a lot of cheddar.

Pros are marked men and women entering these larger-than-life tournaments. The fact that Scotty made it to day six (as of this writing) is phenomenal.

The field began with 6,358 players. His odds are now 1-in-36 to capture his second main event title. His first WSOP title came in 1998 before the online/dead money boom of entrants.

Royal and Ancient

Tulsa is primed to make history Aug. 6-12 at Southern Hills. The venue will become the first course to play host to four PGA Championships when it welcomes the 89th PGA Championship.

You want to know my vision for a storybook ending? Of course you do. All we need is a little help from the proud papa Tiger Woods.

When you are watching the British Open this weekend, cheer on the other golfers. We want Woods to have a good showing but not a victory.

Wait, hear me out. I love watching Tiger on the prowl as much as the next hack. Seeing him dismantle the competition is priceless. He is the defining athlete of my generation.

However, his first victory as a father needs to come in Tulsa for a multitude of reasons. Tiger Woods currently has 12 major championships on his resume.

Two or three of these victories stand out above all others. The '97 Masters because it was his first. The '00 U.S. Open because of his dominance over the field.

The most memorable? It would have to be the uncomfortable and elongated embrace with his caddie Steve Williams on the 18th green at last year's British Open.

Of course this was his first major tournament victory after his father passed away. The tears were flowing and the questions about his state-of-mind were immediately and decisively answered.

So, if Tiger can hold off on winning until the PGA Championship in Tulsa, that would be swell. It is unlikely he'll go winless until then but you never know.

I can see it already. He sinks the final putt on the 72nd hole. Wife Elin and his baby girl Sam rush him in unadulterated joy. This initial championship since becoming a father will be special. Why not in Tulsa? Maybe he'll want to move here? But he'd probably build in Owasso.

Woods will places daughter Sam in the Wannamaker Trophy and lift her for the photo opt of his lifetime. I guess my storybook ending could use some editing. Know any good movie critics?

If you find one, tell them to fix my ending and review The Simpsons Movie would ya? Doh!