A Night with the Talons

The Tulsa Talons 834 game winning streak (give or take 818) came to an end two weeks ago. I felt it my obligation, my civic duty if you will, to attend last weekend's game against the Lubbock Renegades to get the team back on track.

The Talons bludgeoned the Texas squad by a final score of 70-40. The home team improved to 9-1 on the season. They maintain a two-game lead in the Central Division. Here is how the events unfolded.

How much longer for the road construction? Parking is not problematic but the orange cones should be a temporary obstacle downtown, not a permanent fixture.

The pregame tailgating experience is shockingly festive. Tailgating and football go together like Hillary and Barrack. Well, a little better. I especially enjoyed the "I Like It Against the Wall" shirts. Classy.

You know what else goes great with football? Nachos. If you don't believe me just ask my 4-year-old girl. Nothing says "Welcome to a ballgame" like standing in a long, slow-moving line for 1980s style nachos. With all the technological breakthroughs during the years, why are we still served the same nacho cheese sauce in 2008?

I dragged my neighbor to his first Talons game. We'll call him Matt. He's a football fan. Well, he's an OU fan. Not sure if that qualifies.

He was surprised when the Talons scored on the first play of the game. After a 28-point first quarter outburst by the Talons, he was surprised when they didn't score.

Free stuff launched into the stands during every time out from the action. Matt corralled several items to the point that a lady behind him starting hitting him in the head. In jest of course.

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The Lubbock kicker... Wow... Words cannot justify his abysmal performance. The only thing worse than his inaccuracy and sissy-kicks was his girly-man figure. Sebastian Janikowski would be proud.

Tulsa went up by a score of 35-12 in the second quarter. The Renegades started fighting back. Literally. Several players came to blows at separate times in the game. Number 24 seemed especially upset with the butt-kicking the Talons were serving up.

When appreciating the Talons Cheerleaders should I feel dirty? Am I too old to "check them out?" These young ladies are professional. Succinct routines and pleasant fan interaction defines their approach.

Back to the question at hand. Is there a steadfast time limit on staring at them? Two minutes and a look-away? Can the af2 give us an official ruling here?

Speaking of rules, does anyone understand the idiosyncrasies of the af2 rules? If so, you may want to throw your hat into the referee ring. The refs huddle more than the teams. Seriously, do they need an official conference for every flag?

At times, I felt like I was on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. "Where's the bird?" asked my kid. Repeatedly. Next time I'm dropping a five spot on Swoop to have him stand in front of me.

Speaking of the frisky mascot, I wonder if the guy or gal inside the costume acts this way all the time. Hip thrusts toward the players and referees. Half-arsed dancing in front of the cheerleaders. Riding a miniature four-wheeler around a field with reckless abandon?

What are the chances the Talons let me wear the get-up for one game? I'd sweat to death in that furry outfit.

A few army recruits were sworn in at halftime. My goodness these kids look young. Here is where I'd say "God Bless'em" if I didn't anticipate someone sending an angry comment to the paper. Separation of church and sports. Argh.

An energetic group of prepubescent boys sat a row in front of us. They held signs for their hero Jamar Ransom. They really wanted him to find the end zone.

Of course, the three youngsters were chided by a brave mother for their overreaction to the Lubbock players. "You suck" is not an approved chant according to mom.

The sound system reminded me of the Peanuts teacher. You know how Charlie Brown would get into trouble but you never understood what the teacher mumbled? Exactly.

Of course it can't be Captain Chris Plank's fault. If his voice is good enough for Fox Sports Radio (weekends from 1am-5am on AM1430), then it's good enough for the Talons.

Henry, we missed you. Out of sight but not out of mind. Someone who was in sight was the Talons recently hired general manager Corey McIntyre.

For years McIntyre took in games from his behind-the-net seat at Oilers games. Yes, McIntyre filled the same role for the Oilers. Seeing him monitor from the backline was strange. Hockey, football, whatever.

Receiver Chris Maddox trounced the defense for nine catches and four touchdowns. He led Talons Country in a bird dance at mid-field after one scintillating score. Nice crowd play.

The Talons have two home games left on the regular season schedule. I implore you to catch the fever at least once this year. This Saturday the Iowa Barnstormers come to town. The Arkansas Twisters invade the Convention Center July 12 for the home finale. Do I smell a sellout for the rivalry game? Visit www.tulsatalons.com for more information.

Who knows, you may sit next to me and get mentioned in a column. Just like the elderly gentleman to my right. He sneezed popcorn all over the prepubescent crew in front of us. Should I have told them about the drippy popcorn-encrusted goop on their backs?

Good times happen at Talons games.