What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops at three Ho's. It's just too easy people.
You know what makes the Woods debacle even more entertaining? Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a take.
But let's move past the biggest sports story of the aughts. We're fast approaching Christmas morning. Hopefully, your shopping is complete. However, that is probably not the case.
Here are a few ideas for your last minute buying spree.
Think big picture. Don't limit your thought process to fulfilling his or her immediate needs.
Sticking with the Tiger theme, how about a golf gift? Take for instance Battle Creek. They offer gift cards and memberships. Several courses around T-Town present similar deals.
The special someone in your life might take to the course for a wintry round. They might also choose to hang on to the present and use it during more hospitable weather conditions.
Here is my favorite golf gag gift for the holidays. Ladies, buy your man a 9-iron. Don't spend too much money as he'll probably continue using the one in his bag. Give him the 9-iron and attach this message:
"You think Elin busting a car window shows toughness... just let me catch you thinking about cheating on me and watch where this club ends up. With love."
Basketball gets short-changed in Tulsa.
Look at these huge stories that were shoved to the side for college football bowl chatter.
The Golden Hurricane slapped Oklahoma State around the court like a high school b-ball team. The Golden Eagles soared past a Big 12 opponent.
Even more remarkable? Our D-League franchise doesn't suck this year. That's high praise for the Tulsa 66ers. In years past, they had already dug themselves a Grand Canyon-sized hole, and they never climbed out of it.
Their home is the rejuvenated Convention Center. The organization proposed a nice ticket package earlier this season comprising of nine 66ers games plus a trip to Oklahoma City to watch the Thunder take on the LeBrons.
Do you know anyone who likes basketball? Buy them a couple of tickets to a home game or two. The inexpensive seats would make for a nice stocking stuffer. Also, you have about the same chance of winning the lottery if you buy a 66ers ticket or a Power Ball ticket. Only one includes basketball. Visit tulsa66ers.com for more information.
The Ying to their Yang. You cannot talk 66ers basketball without mentioning Oilers hockey. The two franchises have so little in common, yet are bound together in a strange way.
T-Town hockey blazed out of the gate. Our Oilers sat perched atop the Northern Conference standings earlier this year. They have hit a rough patch of ice lately.
Truth be told, they are going to need a second line of scoring to produce points if they want to make a real run in the playoffs.
If you have not seen the Oilers lace 'em up this season, I strongly recommend stuffing your stockings with a couple of tickets. Two bonuses.
One, you'll enjoy the BOK Center experience at its most affordableness (yes, I made that word up).
Two, buying two tickets almost assures you'll be invited to partake in your own gift. Visit tulsaoilers.com for more information.
Nothing is worse than baseball talk in December, but remember, we're focusing on the big picture. The Drillers initial six-home games at ONEOK Field went on sale a couple of days ago.
Normally, I'd be bearish on baseball tickets four months prior to the season. However, the new stadium smell will likely be ruined after the first thirsty Thursday beer-a-palooza. Visit tulsadrillers.com and grab a couple of seats while you can.
Not sure where video games and video game systems fit into the realm of sports. How about this? Sports games are very popular on the multitude of gaming platforms.
Check this out: You know how a woman's drink selection speaks volumes about her personality? Check out a female's attire, including shoes and makeup if you want to know whether she's high maintenance or not.
Similar traits can be deduced from your selection of video gaming system.
There are only two reasons for you to wind up with a Wii: You have young children, or you are overweight and too lazy to exercise on your own. That's it. No other reason to have a Wii.
I refuse to get into the Xbox versus PS3 debate. Everyone has a favorite. If someone disagrees with your preference, they are basically an uninformed idiot. It is like choosing between Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift (for musical purposes of course). There is no wrong answer.
Here is a sneaky gift that you might not immediately think about. Hold your breath for this one. It might be a shocker.
The Snuggie. I know, I know. The commercials alone make this choice laughable. However, move past the absurdness of the lady sitting on a couch unable to grab a remote.
A Snuggie is the perfect gift. You know why? Everyone finds them secretly fascinating. Snuggies can be practical gifts or gag gifts (or maybe both).
No one would purchase a Snuggie for themselves but if given one as a gift, they are sure to enjoy it on many levels.
After all, isn't that one of the true joys of the season? Giving the gift of a smile?
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