Opening this week:
A Town Called Panic: This bizarre French stop-motion animated surrealist comedy follows the adventures of three toys named Cowboy, Indian and Horse, who share a house in their rural town. There's strange and delightful stuff in the first stop-motion to make it to the Cannes Film Festival. Prediction: You'll remember why you stopped taking acid.
Bounty Hunter: This sadly Dog-free action comedy finds Gerard Butler as an out-of-work bounty hunter who gets the job of tracking down his bond jumping ex-wife, Jennifer Anniston.
Diary of a Whimpy Kid: Based on the best selling graphic novel no one's heard of, a cast of people, who no one's ever heard of, bring to life the story of Greg Heffley, a jokester middle school student as he navigates the treacherous waters of adolescence. Prediction: It disappears from theaters before you read this.
Repo Men: This seeming rip off of Repo! The Genetic Opera finds Jude Law as a futuristic repo man, taking back internal organ replacements from people who can't make their payments. The trailer gives too much away. Liev Schreiber and RZA co-star.
Avatar: James Cameron's mega-budget, sci-fi, action blockbuster blasts into 3-D life after more than a decade in the making. Sam Worthington and Sigourney Weaver star as space marines on a mission to Pandora, an alien planet that holds dark secrets.
The Blind Side: Inspiring true story of American footballer Michael Oher, who is adopted from a broken home by an upper-middle class family who teach him a love for the game. Sandra Bullock stars.
The Book of Eli: Denzel Washington roams the Road Warrior-like wasteland carrying a book that might be the key to man's salvation. Gary Oldman co-stars, and the Hughes Brothers direct this futuristic actioner.
Brooklyn's Finest: The lives of three NY cops are thrown into upheaval as their involvement in a massive drug sting peels back the layers of corruption. Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke, Don Cheadle and Welsey Snipes star, with Antoine Fuqua behind the camera.
Cop Out: Kevin Smith directs for the first time from a script he didn't write in this buddy-cop comedy. Bruce Willis stars as a cop whose daughter's wedding has him searching for a lost collectable he needs to pay for the nuptials. Tracy Morgan co-stars as his annoying partner.
The Crazies: Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell star in the remake of the seminal George Romero film about what happens in a small town when a toxic water supply sends its denizens into a murderous rage. Breck Eisner directs.
Dear John: Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried star in this tale of love and strife between a career soldier and a young college student. Based on the (presumably) tear-jerking novel by Nicholas Sparks and directed by Lasse Hallstrom (What's Eating Gilbert Grape?).
Edge of Darkness: Mel Gibson returns to the screen as a father bent on avenging his daughter's murder in this twisty tale of cover-ups, shady characters and government intrigue. Martin Campbell (Casino Royale) directs and Ray Winstone co-stars.
From Paris with Love: Uber-action producer Luc Beeson (The Transporter) presents this bullet-laden tale of an up-and-coming CIA agent (Jonathon Rhys Meyers) who winds up biting off more than he can chew when he's paired with a loose cannon operative (John Travolta) and put on the trail of crime cartel.
Green Zone: Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass re-team after the excellent Bourne films for this tense tale set in the early days of the Iraq invasion. Soldiers sent to find weapons of mass destruction instead stumble on a cover-up. Gregg Kinnear co-stars.
It's Complicated: Meryl Streep learns love can come full circle in writer/director Nancy Meyers comedy about love being... complicated. Presumably. Alec Baldwin will probably be fun to watch, though if you've seen the trailer you've seen the movie.
Legion: Paul Bettany plays the Archangel Michael, who protects the human race when God finally gives up on us and unleashes the Apocalypse. (Again with the Apocalypse.) Dennis Quaid and Tyrese Gibson co-star.
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers: An Academy-nominated documentary about how one man's crisis of conscience rocked American society from newsrooms to the Oval Office and left an indelible and painful mark in history. Directed by Rick Goldsmith.
Our Family Wedding: Comedy void Carlos Mencia stars with Forest Whitaker in this seeming re-tread of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?, when two alpha dads do their best to screw up their kids' wedding plans with hackneyed racial humor, while Mencia laughs at his own jokes, profusely. (Just a guess.)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief: Director Chris Columbus channels his time on Harry Potter into this adaptation of Rick Riordan's series of popular fantasy adventure novels. Percy Jackson discovers he is the progeny of a Greek God and has angered Zeus, who believes that Percy has stolen his lightning bolts. Logan Lerman stars as the titular hero.
Remember Me: Robert Pattinson plays a brooding, rebellious human in this story of a New York kid who thinks nobody understands him until he meets a hottie (Emilie de Ravin) who completes him, and inspires jealous hatred in the Legion of Team Edward. Chris Cooper and Peirce Brosnan co-star.
Sherlock Holmes: Director Guy Ritchie breathes life back into the oft-told tales of Detective Holmes and his trusty sidekick Dr. Watson. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law play the iconic duo. It can't not be fun.
She's Out of My League: Jay Baruchel stars in this comedy as an average guy with a dead-end job who can't believe it when he lands a successful and ridiculously hot girlfriend. Suspension of disbelief is presumably tested. Jim Field Smith directs, if that means anything to you.
Shutter Island: Director Martin Scorsese returns to suspense territory with his adaptation of Denis Lehane's novel about a police investigation of the mysterious disappearance of a patient from escape proof insane asylum. Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo star.
The Spy Next Door: Jackie Chan roundhouse kicks his relevance again as a CIA spy who decides to settle down with his girlfriend, only to find even more daunting foes when he has to babysit three rambunctious kids. Hilarity ensues. Billy Ray Cyrus co-stars.
Tooth Fairy: Dwayne Johnson continues to abdicate his rightful throne as an uber-violent action star in this kid comedy. He plays a hockey star nicknamed the "Tooth Fairy" who, after destroying a kid's hopes, is sentenced to become a real Tooth Fairy. Wow. Ashley Judd and Julie Andrews also star.
Up in the Air: George Clooney stars as a corporate downsizer who's coming close to reaching an enormous amount of flyer miles and meets the woman of his cloudy dreams.
Valentine's Day: Love, Actually for Americans? So it would seem in director Garry Marshall's interweaving of the stories of a L.A. ensemble as they find love and loss over the course of Valentine's Day. The huge cast includes Jessica Alba, Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Anne Hathaway, and Taylor Swift, among many others.
When In Rome: A whimsical tale of an American girl (Kristen Bell) who, disillusioned with love, goes to Rome. When she picks a magic coin from a fountain, she finds herself pursued by an unlikely band of love-interests. Mark Steven Johnson (Ghost Rider) directs.
The Wolfman: The period re-telling of the classic Universal monster film with updated visuals, tells the story of the cursed Lawrence Talbot, a nobleman who becomes a lycanthrope after being bitten by a wolf. Genre fans can rejoice at the return of FX guru Rick Baker for the make-up, at least. Benicio Del Toro stars.
Share this article: