About a week ago, a video surfaced online in which Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones drunkenly ranted about Tim Tebow, Bill Parcells and his new stadium. ESPN and other sports media outlets were quick to post the video along with the transcript.
In the days that followed, the debate shifted from the content of Jones' inebriated ramblings to the video source itself. The dark video was captured via a fan's cell phone. Fair or foul?
In 2010, what are the boundaries for obtaining news? Is it TMZ's world we are living in? Should Jones and other sports figures be allowed to speak off-the-cuff without worrying about a Generation X-er flipping their phone to video mode?
Does the sports public care what an off-duty drunken sports figure says?
I cannot answer these questions. What I can do is imagine being the Generation X-er with a buzz, cell phone and opportunity.
The following are several completely fabricated scenarios that might play out if we caught the right person in the wrong state of mind with a cell phone camera rolling.
Again, fictitious situations to follow.
OU athletic director Joe Castiglione: "Last time I drank this much was in 2008 when I gave Jeff Capel the raise and extension through 2014."
Fan: "Come on Joe C. Tell me you saw the writing on the wall. Capel was excelling at the same time Blake Griffin was dominating college hoops? Did you think another Griffin brother was coming to Norman?"
Castiglione: "Capel signed some McDonald's All Americans. Speaking of which, let's go pound the dollar menu. Who's with me?"
Fan: "Coach, the program has taken incremental steps each year under your stewardship compared to the past couple of guys in charge. What do you say to those bitching about no NCAA tournament berth?"
Golden Hurricane basketball coach Doug Wojcik: "Did the NCAA committee add 31 teams to the tournament yet?
I really want that 96-team field, so I can shut up those local yaps. We can make a 96-team field. Besides, what do they know? How many of them could milk four-straight 20-win seasons at TU?"
Fan: "Coach, you seem upset."
Wojcik: "Don't interrupt me. I was told by people I trust like Tom Izzo that I'd be out of Tulsa in three years. How's that working out for me, huh? I can't find a point guard to save my life. My two best players are leaving. I'm stuck coaching in front of half-full arenas, and I have to point to wet spots on the floor during breaks because the crew is incompetent."
Fan: "How about that Captain 'Cane?"
Wojcik: (strangling fan)
Talons Front Office: "Thank goodness our bluff paid off."
Fan: "What bluff are you talking about?"
FO: "We used an old school ploy last year. We threatened to relocate the team if our demands were not met. You know, like a hostage situation. The city, arena and media fell hook, line and sinker."
Fan: "So, you never planned to move?"
FO: "Nah, why would we move? We were in the process of relocating the head offices of the AFL to Tulsa. What sense would a move had made?
Fan: "Why go through the charade? Why not just sit across the table and negotiate a deal in good faith. Did you really need to leak the story to the local news channel for posturing purposes?"
FO: "Big drop from the back of the turnip truck son? Look, its hard-line negotiating at its finest. I basically pulled the blueprint from the New Orleans Saints playbook after Hurricane Katrina. I didn't even bother changing the city. I used San Antonio just like the Saints. Another round of drinks on you."
Fan: "Can you believe what the Talons guys are saying right now?"
Drillers owner Chuck Lamson: (huge grin and a wink) "Pour me another barkeep."
66ers Front Office: "Guys, we made the playoffs. We have a tremendous relationship with the Oklahoma City Thunder. Our players and staff bust their butts trying to reach the community. What else can we do to make headway in Tulsa?"
Fan: "Did you hear what the Talons guy just said? Holy Cow. I'm glad I caught that on my phone. I'm going to sell this video to a local news station. Cha-Ching."
FO: "Can you at least add a clip of what I said or a 66ers logo to the video?"
Fan: "Sure, when does your season start?"
FO: "I'll have what Lamson is having."
Oilers Front Office: "These organizations are making fools of themselves."
Fan: "You hockey guys sure can handle your beer better than the other teams."
FO: "It's the hockey lifestyle."
Fan: "Serious question. When can we expect you guys to make the playoffs again?"
FO: "Another round of drinks on us."
Kevin Durant: "Attention everyone. I'm legal now. Just turned 21. Let's party."
Phil Jackson: "I bet the bartender gives you a discount at the end of the night. The fans will probably buy you several rounds. None of this seems fair. Why don't people listen to me anymore? I'm a successful coach who communes with animals."
Durant: "Phillip, you are nothing but a coattail riding, reefer tokin' madman. Keep my name out of your mouth."
Jackson: "How dare you speak to me that way! I coached Michael Jordan, Shaq..." (Jackson hits the floor)
Durant: "Thanks for clearing the lane buddy." (nods to Serge Ibaka)
Fans: "Give this man an extension!"
Closing time... last call.
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