The New Conference: SMAC

Resistance is futile.

There is an annoying trend in college athletics shaping up right now. The story is reverberating through the sports landscape at breakneck speeds. The annoying part? It's all make-believe at this juncture.

As you have surely heard by now, several power conferences are tinkering with the idea of expansion. The Big Ten Conference has been front and center in the attempted upheaval.

I've tried to steer clear of the made-for-talk-radio topic du jour. It is a guessing game at this point, right? Until a school or conference makes an official statement, it's just conjecture.

But I was roped in. The Mayor (my 21-month-old son) and I were checking out at a sporting goods store last week. The clerk commented on the Mayor's LSU attire. The clerk smiled and declared he hated OU more than LSU. He was a Texas Longhorn fan.

The conversation immediately turned to wishful conference realignment talk.

This is when it hit me: The NBA and NHL playoffs are off the Tulsa sports radar. Baseball season has not heated up. This college football conference talk is the hot topic.

Forget what you have heard so far from the old guard. They love to spout gossip. They wish for the good ol' days of the Big 8.

Here is a viable conference everyone can get excited about in these parts and across the country. Let's take matters into our own hands. Texas, OU, Alabama, LSU; step up.

First of all, if Missouri and Nebraska want to join the Big Ten or Big 16, let them. Neither has packed much punch in recent years.

But the Big 12 cannot survive such losses. That's why I'm introducing a brand new super conference.

SMAC = Super Middle American Conference.

Admit it, great start with a phenomenal conference name. We must keep with the theme of bigger is better. As much as I'd prefer to keep the conference numbers low (10-12 schools), it's not feasible. The Super Middle American Conference will consist of 16 members.

Here they are in alphabetical order as well as a brief synopsis of why they belong among the privileged.

Alabama: The SMAC is going to need major players. Alabama brings a ton to the table. History, recent success and a reprehensible coach. If you think conference realignment is not for the sole purposes of football, think again.

Arkansas: Perfect geographical location. They bring old rivalries with them and rekindle some preexisting ones. They too have a coach fans love to hate.

Arizona: Whoa! Caught you off guard with this one right? Well, why not bring Zona into the mix? Its football program is decent and its basketball program is above average. Plus, what student-athlete would oppose a few trips to Arizona each year. Sure beats traveling to Nebraska.

Arizona State: See above.

Baylor: Please do not laugh. The main reason for adding Baylor should be obvious. We're going to need a school or two to boost our academic standards.

Iowa: Would any red-blooded Oklahoman be against Iowa joining our super conference? Its football team is always ranked, plus the wrestling program is top-notch.

Iowa State: We are using the Cyclones as a pawn. They help us entice Iowa to jump ship to the SMAC. In a couple of years, we might kick them out and bring Memphis or Colorado in to replace them.

Louisville: Again, nice centralized location plus their football team may gain steam since firing the last coach who failed them miserably. Don't forget Rick Pitino and his fabulous white leisure suits.

LSU: OU fans, would you rather visit Baton Rouge every couple of years or Lawrence, Kan.? How ecstatic will OU and OSU fans be to have Les Miles and his hat back in their lives?

Notre Dame: Bam! That's right. The Golden Domers. They have held out as an independent for long enough. Now, it's time they join the preeminent conference in America. 'Nuff said. Like NBC (their network of choice) would oppose this move.

Ohio State: They must tire of kicking the crap out of Michigan every year. They could always add the Wolverines to their non-conference cupcake schedule just for fun.

Oklahoma: To be honest, they could use a change in scenery. The Big 12 has run its course. If you're not first, you're last. If you're not improving your situation, your situation is getting worse. Boomer!

Oklahoma State: Could OU really join the SMAC and not take little brother along for the ride? Besides, if we do not invite the Pokes, T. Boone Pickens might cut off our oil supply and stick giant windmills in our backyards.

Texas: The Ying to OU's Yang. There is one problem with Texas joining our elite membership. Their enormous ego needs to be checked at the door. Texas believes it is the end-all-be-all of college sports. With this assembled group, they may need to file in line.

Texas A&M: It came down to A&M or Tech. A&M seemed like the sturdier choice of the two Texas schools. I could be swayed either way to be honest.

Vanderbilt: See Baylor.

So what happens to the teams left out of SMAC? Who cares? This is survival of the fittest. This conference would generate more buzz and money than a Tiger Woods tell-all book. Well, maybe not, but a lot of buzz and money.

Let's lay the SMAC down. Who's with me?