My No-Cost Christmas List
This stuff should be a snap for Mr. Kringle
This column is supposed to be "spiritual" in its content. Hence the name, "Above and Beyond." This submission is going to be a bit of a break from the true meaning of Christmas, but the big day is less than a week away and I have yet to submit my list to Santa. And if there's anyone who qualifies as "Above and Beyond," it's the big fella.
Since Christmas is so close, I figured Santa's email Inbox was full, which means my message would be automatically rejected by the North Pole's servers. It has been my understanding that Santa only reads hand-written letters from children under 12. So, my last ditch effort was to post on Santa's wall; and here is what I wrote.
Dear Santa, I don't need anymore stuff. My house is full and yet my family seems to be accumulating more every day. My car runs great (knock on wood). Though I will probably buy more soon, I have lots of nice clothing. I enjoy eating out at nice restaurants, but after the Holidays are over I will definitely need to keep my meals light.
The things I am asking for require no parts, purchasing, or assembly. Your elves will have no reason to charge you for labor. They are simple requests, really. Perhaps you are not able to help me with some of them. In either case, please use whatever pull you have to make these things happen. I can say with confidence that I have not been worse this year than during any other.
Here's my list:
1. A good sleep. I'm not sure I really know what this is. In my imagination, it lasts for a few days.
I would like to be able to eat as much holiday food as I want without gaining any holiday weight. Seriously, peanut brittle, chocolates, nuts, cookies, and candies keep ending up on my desk. It's always that way during this time of year. It's really not fair, and one could argue that my caloric intake really isn't my fault.
3. All my sports teams to win on the same day. Considering which teams I like, this would classify as a true Christmas miracle.
4. A moratorium on reports from the Kardashian paparazzi. Do I really need to give a reason?
5. Tell us some good news. People seem to be increasingly sad, distracted, and full of angst during the Christmas season lately. As you see people like me, would you remind us that this season is not about any of us? Maybe that will help us to take some of the pressure off of ourselves and relax.
No offense, but Christmas is really not about you either. We are, however, glad you've been such a grand participant since third and fourth centuries.
While we're on the subject, could you find a way to post this announcement in a very prominent place?
Unto us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this. (Isaiah 9:6-7, TNIV)
Thanks in advance.
Your friend down South,
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and May the Lord bless all of us with a selfless and productive 2011!
Eric Costanzo is Minister of Community Ministries and Teaching Pastor at First Baptist Church in downtown Tulsa.
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