(In response to "Advice Goddess" in the Dec. 30 -- Jan. 5 issue of Urban Tulsa Weekly)
I say bad advice!
Anything that separates you from your spouse and becomes a sore spot should be immediately removed from the home. When we start accepting addictions which feed our pleasures and cause insensitivities towards our loving relationships, it's time to sit and talk about the changes which need to be made.
Justifying the reasons why men and women view porn doesn't make it OK to do.
I say, a heart-to-heart with your hubby and letting him know how this is affecting the way you feel about yourself, the way you see him and how it is affecting your marriage.
If the love he has for you and yours for him is healthy you can always suggest other ways you both can enhance your shared intimacy and be open to creativity.
I hope you find restoration within your marriage.
(In response to "Survey Says" in the Dec. 22-29 issue of Urban Tulsa Weekly)
This sham survey should be met with skepticism, given the controversial relationship between the Mayor's office and the Tulsa Community Foundation, who are funding this survey in order to promote the 1,100 recommendations made in the KPMG efficiency study of Tulsa's government, which also was funded by the foundation. Remember that during the KPMG study, the private funders were given first access to revise and edit an early version of the report, will that be the case with this survey? If this quote from Mayor Bartlett is any indication, you can almost certainly count on it.
"Obviously, since they are footing the bill, they are wanting to put their two cents worth in."
Dewey Bartlett Jr.
Tulsa World 08/25/10
"Draft of City of Tulsa efficiency report shown to private donors"
Furthermore, the lack of Council input into developing this survey should certainly raise eyebrows. The exclusion of the Council in this process casts doubt about the legitimacy and credibility of this survey that Mayoral Chief of Staff Terry Simonson, has been closely involved with developing. The Mayor seems to be operating under the assumption that the branches of Tulsa's government consist of the Tulsa Community Foundation and his office. Mayor Bartlett is sorely mistaken.
There is very little evidence this "survey" will amount to anything more than plutocratic, push/pull polling.
If the Tulsa Community Foundation and the Mayor expect to claim this process has any transparency, at the very least, they should disclose the text of the surveys now and agree that these survey results won't be released to anyone until they are released to the general public.
Until this happens, Tulsans should boycott this sham survey for the B.S. it is.
The undying mind: a theory of hope ...
The greatest mystery of all the mysteries is there life after death? The answer is there is no death, only a change of realities. Within each of us, there is a thread of immortality called the mind. The mind existed before the reality. The mind encompasses all realities, and enlightens itself to each existence.
The mind has no weight just as the electromagnetism of light has no weight. Just as the images sent back to earth from millions of miles from outer space has no weight. The perpetual force within us, this knowledge of all things is the accumulation of natural properties attributed to each acceptable receptacle of the totality of existence. There is no limit to big and small, there is only the inclusive Great All.
Just as the invisible dust mite cannot be seen without the electron microscope. That reality co-exists within our world unseen, what realities exist below that world and beyond and beyond? Our eyes can only know light images between 4,000 and 8,000 angstroms. When our telescopes see to the end of the universe, we should all know that there is more, and more beyond and beyond. Is there other creatures trapped in their realities that know and wonder about their existence and beyond? I of course do not know but the mind knows, and is the seed that attempts to teach us the way of happiness in our reality.
Love is the reason we live, the reason we will live again. The mind loves love. Women and children teach love. If we are fixed only on flesh and prosperity of this reality then we cannot move beyond this reality. We are trapped here, prisoners of flesh until that body wilts and dies. We start over again with only fragments of past lives, buried only to occasional leaks in dreams.
Thoughts are birds that are never seen, and fly beyond the sky as just a dream. This repeating theme to humankind is often called God with many cultural names and images. This God is bigger than what we have imaged, bigger than all the prophets have imagined. That is what makes religion such an evil and divisive process. We cannot be saved by others dreams. We are alone in this pattern of reality-except to know we can only become a better being by being seekers of truth in kindness to know we can only become a better being by being seekers of truth in kindness to others and ourselves.
The mind knows and the mind can exceed matter. We just care for the beast we are born into and the mind must be free to think beyond the reality into enlightenment. The hope factor in the mind keeps us moving beyond. There are monsters in humankind that have not been here before and repel the mind. The misery of this suppression of the mind will not last. The mind will move forward eventually, the concept of sin is earthbound and not worthy of salvation. Only the beneficial is worthy of survival. The world, the universe exists in violence and chaos because that is the only way it can exist: the only way life can draw its nourishment to exist.
We are made from star stuff repeatedly; humankind has failed to achieve its potential in this reality. The mind is the force that can transcend all realities and survive in all the planes of truth beyond the beyond. The undying mind is the mother of hope and the will to keep-a-goin ...
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