¡ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Readers: Your faithful Mexican is putting the final touches to his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while I work on rewrites. But instead of a Best Of columna, I've decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time favorite reader interactions.

Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses offered show how genius the Mexi brain truly is. Space doesn't allow your local rag to print all the responses, but below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online at ocweekly.com. In the meanwhile, enjoy and see you in una semana!

If you're half-Mexican and...

Half-African: Afrijoles.

Half-anything: Inbetweener-beaner.

Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner -- America's worst nightmare.

Half-Australian: Aussican, Dingoles (say like frijoles), Fosters Especial, Mexi-roo, Ortegamite or Wallican.

Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Bro-Vato, Choco-Taco, Choligger, Mack, Mexiblack, Mexicoon, Negrexican, Tino Noir, Watermexican or Wetblack.

Half-British: Limey beans.

Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo.

Half-Filipino: ChicaPina (for Chicana and Pinay, which is a Tagalog slang term for Filipina), Chilipino, Filixan, Filitino, Flipamex, Flippican, JalaPinoy or Mexipino.

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Chicangüera, Gabaxicano, GMC (Gringo-Mexico cross), Güerexican, Latinglo, Mexiglos, Mixican, Pochingo (half-pocho, half-gringo), Whispanic or white bean.

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, chili kraut, Germexican or wiener beaner.

Half-Hawaiian: Jalapiña or pineapple salsa.

Half-Hippie: Hippsican.

Half-Honky: Chichonky.

Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Mexitalian, Spicawop, Spic-talian or Wopsican.

Half-Jamaican: Jamexican or Rastacan.

Half-Japanese: Japanic or Mexanese.

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito or Mexi-Jew.

Half-Oklahomian: Chokies or Okie-Frijoles.

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani.

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback or Wetneck.

Half-White: Honky-Tonk, Gringateca, Mejiyanqui, Mexi-melts or Whics.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!