POSTED ON APRIL 22, 2009:
Mock Tulsa Draft
Building a dream team in this city is way too much fun
Googled NFL Draft 2009. Results 1-10 of about 15 million for NFL Draft 2009. Fairly popular I'd say. Let's put the 15 million returned sites into perspective so we can gage the excitement levels for the draft this weekend.
A quick "Aerosmith" search yielded 15 million sites. "SNL" returned a little more than 13 million sites. "Mayor Kathy Taylor" returned more than 100,000 results. "PLANiTULSA," 7,000 strong! You get the idea.
Year's ago the draft was an inexact science. Teams studied players on film and drafted positions based on need. We read about it the following day in the newspaper.
Today, same formula except now we follow along in real-time for an entire weekend.
The draft buildup is bigger than ever. We digest copious amounts of information. We think we know more than our favorite team's front office.
Thanks to pro days and the scouting combine coverage, we learn as much about the process as we choose. The media coverage looms large, but the process for the players has been status quo for almost 20 years.
"They didn't have NFL Network filming it or ESPN. It was just not as publicized or televised, but it was the same type of [process]," said former TU great and ex-Buffalo Bills offensive lineman Jerry Ostroski.
"Big O" lives in Tulsa, coaches at Holland Hall and joins Big Al and Pat Jones on the Sports Animal, Mondays from 11am-1pm. He also lends his professional football knowledge when necessary.
Ostroski was drafted in the 10th round, 271 picks into the draft. Today, there is no 10th round. He enjoyed eight successful seasons with the Bills. The 13th pick in the same 1992 draft was a guard named Eugene Chung. Chung washed out of the league after five seasons and three different teams.
The point? Glad you asked. A smart team would have drafted "Big O" on the first day of the draft if the experts properly forecasted his career.
So, the idea at the beginning of the week was to "mock" the mock drafts and the so-called "experts." Then I decided to talk about how the draft has morphed during the years.
However, mock drafts are passé and the scouting aspect hasn't changed in 20 years.
Instead of embarrassing myself with predictions sure to go wrong, I'll mock draft Tulsa.
It's my contest and I'm making the rules therefore I cannot be proven wrong. The rules are, draft anyone or anything associated with Tulsa. There are 32 teams in the NFL, but we'll limit ourselves to 13 picks.
First: BOK Center. In less than a year, you can make the argument that the BOK Center is the most identifiable landmark in Tulsa. It also ranked number two in the nation for ticket sales in a recent poll (See page 15). BOK Center as the first selection is a no brainer.
Second: Bill Hader. The Tulsa native stars on Saturday Night Live. He dabbles in film with some heavy-hitters in Hollywood. He's even a sounding board of sorts for the South Park crew. A solid second selection with explosive potential.
Third: TIA's Security Checkpoint. The ascetic appeal almost makes you forget the overpriced food and drinks once you enter the airport world. Bonus points for never searching my inner thighs for a weapon of mass destruction.
Fourth: Tulsa Zoo. When you have guests visiting from out of town, you end up taking them to the zoo, right? That counts for something. Pros include the Rain Forest and poison dart frogs. Cons include explaining the erotic sounds cascading the zoo to your 5-year-old daughter.
Fifth: Todd Graham. Hey, it's a sports column, what did you expect? Graham tops the coaching tree in T-Town today. Worst coach in Tulsa? No chance, I have to interview these guys.
Sixth: Ronald Palmer. If Tulsa's Chief of Police ever solves the meth problem in our city, the sixth pick will have been too low. Instead of busting mobile meth labs after the fact, here is an idea:
Isolate one of the key meth-making ingredients. Stock shelves all across Tulsa with a similar "fake" product at half the price. Meth-heads will purchase the cheaper product. Have chemist rig the planted product so it causes a chemical reaction and explodes. Everyone and everything within a 100-foot radius turns pink for three days.
Seventh: Wayman Tisdale. My personal favorite Tisdale memory? Playing as Tisdale on the original "NBA Jam" video game. Tisdale's partner on the arcade game? Spud Webb. Tisdale... He's on fire!
Eighth: Brookside. Solid pick. Taking Brookside as the eighth pick is akin to picking a defensive tackle in the draft. Fans shrug shoulders but the front office smiles on Sunday when the opposing running back is held to 50 yards on the ground.
Ninth: strip bars. That's right, all of them. Hey, it's my draft I can do what I want. You think its crazy drafting the strip joints this high? I give you Adam "Pacman" Jones with the sixth overall pick by the Tennessee Titans.
Tenth: crane operator. To be more specific, the crane operator wielding the heavy-lifting mechanism at the site of ONEOK Field. Less than a year Tulsans, less than a year.
Eleventh: Brandon Pettigrew. ALERT: real mock draft information to follow. The multi-talented OSU Cowboy would fit in great with the Buffalo Bills at pick 11. The only problem, he would share the huddle with Terrell Owens.
Twelfth: Tasha Does Tulsa. Solid blog. The writer is dedicated. The Web site earns high marks for an original name.
Thirteenth: weather people. Love'm or Hate'm, they are part of your lives. Tulsa weather forecasters know predictions like Colonel Sanders knows hamburgers.
Hope your draft day is a Monster Jam.
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