A long time ago, in a galaxy far far... actually, a few years ago in this publication, we ran a complete breakdown of Oklahoma versus Texas. It was not just about sports, but football was included.

My task at the time was to indicate how Oklahoma easily defeats Texas on the football field. One problem. Although the Sooners had dominated the Longhorns in the five previous meetings (2000-2004) there was little chance the Sooners could win in 2005.

Sure enough, Texas whipped OU 45-12. The writing was on the wall. Anyone watching college football that season knew. So OU was the pick in the column with the caveat of "if Adrian Peterson touches the ball 30 times." He carried it three times for ten yards.

Ladies and gentlemen, Texas cannot beat this Oklahoma team this year. Barring a miraculously bad showing by Stoops troops, the Sooners will triumph by double digits.

So where is the intrigue? For starters, it is the rivalry game for each school. Perhaps some of the Longhorn Network bad blood will leak onto the field. Would Bob Stoops have Landry Jones toss a late fourth quarter touchdown to embellish the score instead of running out the clock?

Crying about college football and the BCS is so passé. However, when did regular season college football games decide to grab a title sponsor? The AT&T Red River Rivalry? I thought selling out to the highest bidder was reserved for bowl games.

Speaking of college playoffs, consider this round two in the bracket for OU. The Sooners knocked off the Seminoles in round one. If they get by Texas, they will face Texas A&M, Baylor and Oklahoma State later in the single-elimination tournament.

For now, the focus is on perennial nemesis Texas. Since the deck is stacked against the Longhorns in this year's tussle, let's be friendly neighbors and give them a few ideas on how to defeat the mighty Sooners. It's the least we can do.

They could pull an old school rasslin' tactic out of the Conquistadores bag of tricks. We're not talking about a 15th century Spanish warrior. The old WWF wrestling tag team of course.

Both guys were of similar build. They each adorned an identical, full-body gold set of tights and matching masks. Their gimmick was switching illegally when the ref had his back turned. More precisely, they would hug, spin in circles then have the "fresh" guy jump into the fold.

Here is what we are getting at. Maybe Texas, with their newfound Longhorn Network goldmine, can bribe Oklahoma State to wear Texas Orange and take the field against the Sooners. At the very least, make the switch seamlessly during halftime. What, too complex? Fine.

While on the subject of switcheroo, why not swap Case for Colt. The McCoy brothers are approximate in size. The Cleveland Browns probably would not mind Colt getting a little extra work in after his stinker on Sunday. Who cares if a few rules are broken? You are the Texas Longhorns. We're living in your world. Yeehaw!

Here is an idea. Have Mack Brown fake an injury. The NFL defensive linemen are pushing the trend. No one can argue Mack's recruiting prowess. He is one of the best.

But he did not recruit Vince Young this year, and his game planning is suspect at best. Have you ever witnessed an outgunned Texas squad prevail over a more talented foe?

No one is trying to embarrass Mack. We can protect him. Let Mack run out with his team after giving a lackluster pregame speech. Midway through the tunnel, uh oh a pulled hammy. Mack heads for x-rays and misses the majority of the game.

The ideal fill-in candidate would have been Will Muschamp. Of course Texas let their heir apparent escape to Florida instead of promoting him once Brown lost his edge. The logical move would be to have Major Applewhite don the headsets and make the calls. Something tells me Sooner Nation would be ok either way.

Hey Texas, run the ball. Pound it, pound it some more, then launch deep 50/50 balls and hope for interference. More shaky offensives should use this strategy.

The game of the week kicks off Saturday on ABC inside the old friendly confines of the Cotton Bowl at 11am.

The Others

The University of Tulsa gets a much needed bye week prior to the meat of their conference schedule. It is amazing what scheduling a non-top-five team can do for a one's self-belief. Thank you confidence booster, I mean North Texas.

You can catch the TU Express at H.A. Chapman Stadium on Oct. 15 at 7pm against University of Alabama at Birmingham. The Golden Hurricane is poised to make another run at the C-USA Championship.

Talk about timely bye weeks. Oklahoma State welcomes the non-basketball Kansas Jayhawks this weekend. On Oct. 15 they travel to Austin.

Check the body language of the Longhorn players at the end of the Red River Rivalry battle. If they have given up, expect a beleaguered bunch to welcome the Pokes.

However, if Mack's team is still scratching and clawing at the end of the contest with OU, expect a tough test for Mike Gundy's squad.

Send all comments and feedback regarding Left Field to ddavis@urbantulsa.com