"We interrupt your normal reading for the following weather advisory from local leprechaun-like weatherperson, Frank.
That’s right readers, we have a menacing frontal cloud that could, but not necessarily, cause some damage in Beaefee Oklahoma, so lets go to Doppler two, and now Viper three. Now back to two, now let’s read Ezekiel four and listen to the Jackson five.
Now let’s go to my lackey Mike to repeat what I just said, how does that look on Doppleviper IV lackey?
Well Frank there are lots of blue and red blotches and some orange spots that can’t be good, and for those of you who did not got to college, if you’re under those spinning things with the frowny faces, you are totally screwed.
That’s right, as a Meteorologist I can tell you that if your house is hit by a Tornado, it could sustain some structural damage, you’re thoughts on that lackey?
I thought adding the word; “structural” made it sound much more impressive Frank.
I agree lackey, and now we’ve had our first causality from the storm, apparently a gentleman in Beaefee has stabbed himself in the brain with an ice pick, so if you’re in Beaefee you should take cover immediately, however in direct contradiction to what I just advised you, we’re sending one of our low paid, I mean highly trained storm chasers to check on this story.
Are you there chaser?
Yes Frank, apparently this gentleman was a huge fan of the TV show,” Lost” who had been trying to watch it in “High Definition” for months with an HD antenna which can receive all the other stations, but for some reason not KTUL.
He had just subscribed to digital cable specifically to watch Lost, but instead, has been listening to several hours of monotonous repetitive mind numbing gibberish.
Thanks chaser, that just shows how dangerous these storms can be, but the good news is that even though our viewers missed some of the top rated shows on television tonight, the storm has subsided just in time for the local news!
And now we’re receiving reports of a rash of brain stabbings……….."