take a deep breath, put down the cigarette and finish your bottle of wine...
Im a bit lost for words right now,
Standing naked in a field.
Its rather revealing.
Ive come to the revelation that Im quite exposed.
But Im not half as ugly as I thought I was.
In fact, I think Im glowing
We made an efficient pair
Until my selflessness ran out of oil…
I give, you take.
No wonder I am skin and bones and smoke.
Part of me clings tightly to the good times
The tender moments and "I love you"s shared in the dark
Family outings, exotic meals and sunsets
Polaroids, the "rapist face," your stupid raps…
You, the pixie boy on the rings.
But I cannot hang on these moments.
You have chosen to end them.
I still smell you in my sheets.
And in the cleverest ways, I realize how you began to cut your ties…
Far before I ever began to suspect it.
I was held by empty arms
I received your sharp criticism
I endured the destruction of my possessions
And still I gave you everything.
I have been betrayed.
The final stab poisoned with the most painful phrase
"You are not enough"
Well I say to you, I am sorry.
Sorry for your blindness.
I am everything that Love embodies.
You, bent on your destruction.
Stop spreading your disease and hurting others.
The strong ones will not fall with you,
But I will always offer my hand—
No longer my heart.
But a strengthened, sympathetic hand.
The memories have weaved themselves into nightmares
Cold glimpses from a past I must let go
I never wanted to, I wouldve stood by you
But there are lines crossed now that both of us know
Must be held if I wish to keep my dignity
I am better than that.
I am worth far more.
This is your loss, not mine.
And now Im gone.
Did you get too comfortable?
Did it scare you?
Did you find pleasure plotting how youd burn your bridge?
I am so cold at night
I cry when I try to cook
My house is silent—all music sings of your voice
But I can still stand up.
You took my heart and shattered it
And from these broken pieces I will grow wings.
From these tired eyes will spring a fountain
And in my tears I will cleanse myself
And though I will never stop loving you,
Someday, my heart will open again
And a truly deserving man will be blessed.
I loved you with all my heart.
Now I love you in reserve."