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"Imagine my surprise at No. 91 while I was pre-occupied with a fav sexual device, affectionately known as Paris Hilton. You guys give me way TOO much credit putting me on the SAME list as Mommy Warbucks, aka Ms. Double Voter, Missy Mensch, aka Ms. I-Stand-By-My-Mistakes, AND Ken Busby, aka Mr. Some-character-out-of-a-really-bad-Batman-movie-directed-by-Ed-Wood.
If truth be known, I am no more than just another Tulsa taxpayer, DISGRUNTLED at all things City Hall. As t-whirld's Ron Warnick might have pointed out, I don't really think I am making ANY difference at all, as the article introduction suggests.
I am not a visionary either. I merely plagarize shamelessly. True visionaries? The Channels crowd.
As for setting an example, I am probably only inspiring testosterone-induced 20-something redneck males cruising in 4WD drives, cute teenaged girls who get their kicks by screaming out of car windows at some sexually ambiguous guy who does bicycle front flips and sporting a really bad case of sweat-stained skid marks on the back of his spandex shorts, and maybe a few over-stressed moms who aspire for rock stardom in their 80's.
Really, my only claim to fame, THUS FAR, is pissing off motorists, radio talk show hacks, and the Tulsa Police Santa Task Force by leveraging their DISREGARD of the the First Amendment of the US Constitution, AND ignorance of State statutes and Tulsa ordinances regarding bicycles.
Speaking of favorite sexual devices, for next year's list, I nominate Judge Donald Thompson for No. 1. If you will put a lid on the p-pump for just a moment, yes, I know it's HARD, you will soon realize our saged Judge has seen a vision of Oklahoma's criminal INjustice system we've all missed.
According to members of the bar in the know, the Judge could have stepped off the bench quietly, kept his sizeable pension, and some semblence of respectability. He knew the stakes and still risked it ALL.
For that, he's my Oklahoma hero. I am also jealous. How can Santa possibly top that? Though Santa might not peruse a p-pump while presiding over a murder trial, he certainly WILL SING NAKED 4 $1.
Just keep your v-cams handy, people. And, UTW, thank you for the kind ink space and publicity. I suppose, for whatever it's worth, ALL publicity is good publicity.
P.S. If you really believe I actually persued a sexual device named Paris Hilton, while reading UTW, you are most certainly dumber than turkey on T-Day."
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