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Tips for Lowering Your Guard and Letting a Partner Pamper You

Letting your guard down can be a terrifying prospect. Vulnerability is an intimidating state under any circumstances but, if you’ve dealt with trauma in...
a man and woman holding flowers

Letting your guard down can be a terrifying prospect. Vulnerability is an intimidating state under any circumstances but, if you’ve dealt with trauma in the past, it can be even more so. At the same time, though, opening up to a partner, letting the walls around your heart collapse, and giving yourself the chance to be taken care of can be invigorating, if not life-changing. If you’re trying to open up to a partner, there are some ways you can make the process easier. From communicating with your partner along the way to letting your guard down slowly and in whatever ways let you feel the most comfortable. You can bring down your walls and open your heart to your partner—and all the attention and care (not to mention gifts) they can bring.

Figure out what works for you.

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Before you open up to someone new or become more vulnerable with a person you love, take the time to consider how you feel about doing so. Researching you and your partner’s love languages can help you both understand the best ways to open up to each other, and how your partner might be most comfortable opening up to you, too. If they tend towards acts of service, you might be best able to show love to your partner by doing the dishes or preparing a fancy dinner. If your love language is receiving gifts, they’ll know that hiring the top pool builders in Lakeland FL to build you the pool of your dreams or treating you to some luxury jackets or capris will be something special. By taking the time to determine what kind of intimacy works best for you and your partner, you’ll avoid issues later on, even as you become more open with one another over time.

Consider unconventional situations.

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If you’re looking for a situation where you can be comfortable letting your walls fall, something besides a conventional relationship might be a good fit for you. Becoming a sugar baby can be a good way for a young woman or man to let down their guard in a safe space. Sugar mamas or a sugar daddy will be mature enough to understand if you aren’t comfortable opening up in some ways. These mutually beneficial relationships can allow your partner to find the companionship they’re seeking while giving you the chance to open up in the ways you’re most comfortable. Because sugar dating is by default “no strings attached,” there will be less risk associated with letting your guard down. Becoming a sugar baby will let you open up to a partner in a relationship that’s rich in companionship, alongside gifts and care of the highest quality. Most importantly, though, an unconventional relationship like that of a sugar baby will give you the versatility to become more comfortable in yourself and in being less guarded.

Take your time.

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No rule says you need to immediately drop every hesitation and become utterly vulnerable. Small steps in that direction can be just as impactful. Simply sitting and chatting can be a chance to connect on an individual level. You don’t need to divulge the most traumatic moments of your past in one fell swoop. Something as simple as sharing your favorite guilty pleasure movie can take you a bit closer to being less guarded with your partner. In a sugar relationship, traditional pairing, or other situation, feeling pressured to move more quickly than you’d like, whether that’s sexually or emotionally, is a major red flag. Move as slowly as you need to or rip off the bandaid, so to speak, if you prefer. You know best what method of opening up to your partner is right for you—or you’ll figure it out as you go.

Make yourself comfortable.

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Whether you’re in a sugar baby/sugar daddy arrangement, a traditional relationship, or something else entirely, you can’t expect yourself to be vulnerable if you aren’t comfortable first. Make sure you’re comfortable on as many levels as possible—from your wardrobe to your relationship with the person you’re opening up to. If you’re not confident wearing lingerie but know you look just as sexy in your favorite capris pants, wear those pedal pushers with pride. Not ready to wear a bikini when you and your partner hit the pool? Rock that one-piece. The same is true of lowering your guard and opening up to your partner. Unless a secret could harm your partner, don’t force yourself to share something about yourself if you aren’t comfortable doing so.

Remember you can always backtrack.

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If you’re hesitant to be more open with a partner, there’s a good chance you’re worried about letting your guard down with the wrong sort of person, especially if you’ve had that happen before. While you can’t always retract the trust you’ve shared in the past, you can always put your walls back up. Opening up is a reversible step in any relationship. If you let someone in only to realize that their intentions were bad, it’s okay to put up those walls again when it comes to them. It doesn’t matter that you’ve opened up to them before—if you don’t want to do so again, there’s no reason you have to.

Communicate openly.

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Struggling to be more vulnerable can be a challenge, whether you’ve faced trauma in the past or simply don’t want to end up hurt. Being open with your partner about your concerns is a sort of vulnerability in and of itself but can make the larger process of opening up an easier one. Once you’ve taken the time to realize what you need in a relationship, share it with your partner in the clearest terms possible. While it might be difficult, or even uncomfortable at first, it’s one of the most basic ways to start letting your guard down and trusting your partner.

Be open to compromise.

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No matter how much you value a relationship, you should never open up because you’re feeling pressured. Find a middle ground between your best-case situation and your partner’s. If they’re ready for marriage but you want to wait, a promise ring or long-term engagement might be a way to commit without as much pressure. If they want to provide everything you need but you’re fiercely independent, having separate bank accounts but allowing them to buy you expensive gifts can let you meet in the middle. Traditional and unconventional relationships alike can benefit from a bit of compromise, especially when it comes to vulnerability.

For a lot of people, letting your guard down is scary, especially where a new partner is concerned. As much as possible, being open in your relationship from the start can strengthen your bond and let you both enjoy the best relationship possible. Whether you’re living the sugar baby lifestyle or letting your partner treat you like a queen, sharing the deepest parts of yourself and letting your partner past the walls you’ve built around your heart will be worth it. With the right person holding your hand, you’ll feel ready to tackle anything, whatever horrors or disappointments lurk in your past. Put on your favorite outfit, take a deep breath, and get ready for the type of relationship you’ve only ever dreamed of.

Lois Pratt is responsible for assisting in editing and running the site’s web publication, in addition to covering special events. She is a UCLA graduate and resides in Tulsa.
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